Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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