Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
