driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
