Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
