Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
