I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
