I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
