Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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