I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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