I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
