areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
