got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The beer is more important than you right now.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
