rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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