I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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