She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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