Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
