I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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