porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
