I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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