So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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