Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
