i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
