I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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