perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
