Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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