no, he came in my armpit
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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