Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
