Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
