whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
