The maid of honor just puked.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
