Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the day after is always just damage control
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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