Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I want to fling myself into the sun
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
