Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you inspire me to be a worse person
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
