I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
