I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
