I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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