im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
