question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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