how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
