Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
