How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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