Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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