Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
