hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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