dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Non-Jews are for practice
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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