mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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