This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
