Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
