someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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