Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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