I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
